 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
Loving-kindness meditation These are Mary’s words: Loving kindness means great friendliness. Loving-kindness meditation helps you develop positive feelings of friendliness and kindness. This friendliness embraces all aspects of yourself and others. The source of strength in this meditation lies in the basic goodness in each person. Loving kindness is practiced by focusing attention on the feelings of friendliness and kindness themselves and through the use of repeated phrases directed to self and others. An example of the phrases is “may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be peaceful, may I be safe.” You do not need beads to do loving-kindness meditation and you do not need meditation to enjoy the beads, but linking the two can be a reminder to turn towards your own deep inner strength and goodness. Life can present each person with very unpredictable circumstances that send the mind into turmoil. Loving kindness practice is a skill that can be used in times of fear, loneliness, anxiety, worry, anger and or physical discomfort. It can help calm a restless mind and evoke feelings of kindness, goodwill, generosity and forgiveness. At times you may find yourself filled with negative judgment, self criticism or resentment towards others. Loving-kindness meditation offers a way to work with those difficult mind states. You can learn to let go of hostile thinking and weaken those habits of criticizing and judging that keep you prisoner. Cultivating loving kindness helps to shift from the unconscious habits of meanness and drama into a place of more friendly, spacious acceptance of each experience. Loving-kindness meditation is an ancient practice that comes out of the teaching of the Buddha. It is said that the Buddha first taught this meditation as an antidote to fear. You certainly do not have to be Buddhist to practice this meditation or to benefit from it. Nurturing the qualities of friendliness, kindness and compassion is compatible with all faith traditions. You may practice loving-kindness meditation formally or informally. Formal loving-kindness meditation means setting aside time each day with no interruptions. When you practice, allow yourself to connect with feelings of kindness and friendliness as best you can. It is the feeling of seeing your best friend, or when your pet comes to greet you, or when you have done something kind or generous for someone. Or simply think about planting seeds of kindness through your intentions of turning toward the goodness in yourself and others. In formal practice, there are six specific categories for practicing and directing loving kindness. They are self, teacher or mentor, good friend, a neutral person, a difficult person, and all beings. The practice is to direct feelings of kindness and friendliness to someone in each of the categories by gently repeating phrases. For example, in practicing kindness for self: May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be peaceful, may I be safe. In practicing kindness for a friend: May you be happy, may you healthy, may you be peaceful, may you be safe. These phrases are suggestions. If the words happy, healthy, peaceful, safe do not fit for you, you may change them. Other examples of phrases are: May I be free from anger, may I be at ease, may I be free from worry, may I be free of pain. You may also change which phrase you say first. For example if you are not feeling safe, start with “may I be safe.” If you are feeling upset you might start with “may I be peaceful.” You can pick just one phrase and repeat that. You don’t have to say all the phrases. Say what resonates for you. The first category is yourself. You are the object of loving kindness. You start by sending and directing aspirations of kindness and gentleness to yourself. You befriend yourself. The next category is teacher, mentor. This is a person who has treated you with kindness and generosity, a person who has inspired or enriched your life, someone you hold in high regard and respect. After the teacher, the focus is a good friend. When you think of a beloved friend it often is easy to feel good wishes and warm feelings. The fourth category is a neutral person. An example of a neutral person would be someone you see at work, at school, at the bank or grocery store. Your gift is anonymous and offered freely, requiring only your attention and openheartedness to wish a stranger well. The next category is a difficult person. This is someone you are in conflict with, someone you judge or hold resentment towards. The idea of sending this person loving kindness may seem daunting, just too hard to do. You might want to start with someone who is annoying but not the most difficult person in your life. The last category includes all beings. You extend the feelings of friendship, caring and kindness to all individuals and, if you wish, to all forms of life. Loving kindness does not mean you become defenseless or lose your boundaries. The kindest thing we can do sometimes is to say no to someone. Sometimes people get the mistaken idea that sending loving kindness to another permits that person to abuse them. The correct practice of loving kindness meditation helps you respond to situations with clarity and keeps you from getting caught in the downward swirl of resentment and revenge. Loving-kindness meditation can also be done informally. This may involve repeating meditation phrases throughout the day or any time you can remember to turn towards this practice of wishing yourself or someone else well, in whatever situation you find yourself. For example, you can practice in check-out lines, at traffic lights, in airports, in hospitals or doctors’ offices. When you feel anxious, claustrophobic or afraid, or when you can’t sleep, you can direct phrases to yourself: “May I be well.” You can direct phrases towards others, for example, in an airplane: “May all the people on this plane be safe.” Just repeating the phrases a few times can make a big difference. If you wish, you can link the loving-kindness meditation practice to the beads. The sight and feel of the beads may help you to stay focused. For example, as you say a phrase you might touch a bead; you might hold the beads in your hand as you meditate; or you might just have them near you as a reminder of your own inner beauty and kindness. Remember that as your beads were being made, loving kindness phrases were repeated as each bead was added to the strand. The beads are a materialized expression of the loving kindness practice. Repeating the loving kindness phrases with the beads can help you connect in a concrete way to the feeling of kindness and perhaps help bring to flower your own seeds of kindness. Good books on loving-kindness meditation: |
